Two years. Thirty craniosacral appointments give or take a few. More than fifty seven hundred miles driven.
Worth every mile, every minute in the car, every dime spent. Worth all of it. Craniosacral therapy has without a doubt changed our lives.
In the height of Max’s sensory journey, he was having meltdowns that could only be described as colossal. We couldn’t always pinpoint the root cause and with very little speech, he couldn’t tell us. They were taxing for all of us. Mostly, though, we felt horrible for him. Sometimes the only thing that would work to calm him was strapping him in his car seat and taking him for a long ride. And even then it could be an hour before he’d find his calm. I’ve honestly blocked out much of that stressful time in our lives.
In the summer of 2020 we were on a hike with friends, one of the only ways we could connect with our people during pandemic times. Max was in his favorite spot – snug in our hiking backpack perched high on his mama, feeling and loving the warm breeze on his face. After a while, it was clear he wanted to venture out of the backpack (which was rare!). We were thrilled! He explored, climbed with help and ran. But things took a dramatic turn when I wouldn’t let him walk right into the rumbling river. He absolutely melted, almost crawling right out of my arms multiple times. My friend stayed with me while our spouses and the other littles kept hiking. She made an observation that hadn’t occurred to me – but was absolutely true. After I wrestled Max and hiked with a screaming, squirming toddler back up to the van and got him safely buckled in, I took a deep breath, completely exhausted, sweaty and thankful that Anna Marie had stayed with me despite me telling her I would be fine. We started to chat and she said “it was almost as if he was trying to crawl back up inside of you.”
And he absolutely was. Being on the receiving end of his meltdowns I hadn’t realized what was happening, but his major meltdowns all resulted in him trying to get back to the place he remembered as being the safest, calmest and most quiet…the womb.
I mentioned this to our team of two occupational therapists who specialize in therapeutic listening and my aunt who has been a tremendous guide and advocate on this journey with both boys. They discussed for a bit and then Aunt Kate suggested that we try craniosacral therapy with her friend who was affectionately called the “baby whisperer.”
We knew nothing about craniosacral therapy (a gentle hands-on technique that uses a light touch to examine membranes and movement of the fluids in and around the central nervous system. Relieving tension in the central nervous system promotes a feeling of well-being by eliminating pain and boosting health and immunity), but were willing to trust the process and try anything at that point. Our boy was struggling and so were we.
We drove a little over an hour for the appointment in early November that year. We were anxious and nervous – so much that it was palpable. When we arrived at her office, we encountered the most lovely occupational therapist who specializes in craniosacral therapy – she was kind, unassuming and grandmotherly like hot cocoa and chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven. We immediately felt at ease.
She explained that Max would be experiencing somewhat of a “rebirth” that day. A what?! The work she would be doing would compensate for what he missed by not traveling through the birth canal as a result of being breech and then consequently born via c-section.
First step was the hyoid. The hyoid is the bony structure that surrounds your trachea. She checked Max and his hyoid was up too high which was forcing his jaw and tongue forward and causing a reverse swallow (at almost 3, this was the first we had heard of such a thing!). She adjusted his hyoid and put it back where it belonged and then she checked Mike and me for the same issue. Low and behold, our hyoids were both out of place too. With a quick adjustment she clicked them back into place and we could both feel a difference in our swallowing. Crazy, right?
So here’s where this gets really wild. Max would stick his tongue out of his mouth constantly his first year of life. We thought it was cute at the time – his signature look. But now looking back, he was likely doing that because his hyoid was out of place and pushing everything forward. That made us wonder if his hyoid being out of place had contributed to his difficulty with drinking from a cup and his speech development. It’s entirely possible.
Then she adjusted his upper spine, neck and head. He cried a cry we had never heard before. It wasn’t one of pain – maybe relief? He had a little time to organize around the work she had done and then we packed Max back in the car for our drive home. We were struck by his willingness to give his new therapist a high five and a wave goodbye. He didn’t do that very often to people he knew well, much less someone he had just met. And then he proceeded to babble all the way home. Also completely uncharacteristic. We were hopeful, certainly. But had no idea what this new-to-us therapy would mean in the long run.
We were eager to go back for another appointment a month later and brought Fletcher, too . His experience was a little different but no less impactful. After simply placing her hands on Fletcher’s head and by his ears, Mary asked if he had difficulty with auditory processing. We replied with a synchronous “YES!” That had been a huge challenge for him for a long time and the area of sensory processing that he struggles with the most – even after a few years of occupational therapy. We were amazed that she could identify that. She paid special attention to his upper back, neck, head, ears and eyes that day. His ears required a particularly intense “untwisting” of sorts. Fletch still asks her if an adjustment is “going to be a big one” like he experienced that day. She’s amazing with the way she relates to littles and prepares them for what’s coming.
On the way home from our session with both boys, Max was crying in the car. The high pitch of his cries was one of Fletcher’s biggest auditory triggers. Except not that day. He realized Max was crying and then exclaimed “Mom! My EARS! They don’t hurt! And Max is crying!”
Mike and I looked at each other in disbelief. What was normally an anxiety inducing experience for all of us….wasn’t. If we hadn’t been believers in craniosacral therapy before (which we were), we most certainly would have been then.
Fast forward two years. Here’s how craniosacral therapy has forever changed us…
- In just a few sessions, Max went from gravitationally insecure to having a much better idea of where he was in space. Before we started craniosacral therapy, Max wanted to be carried all the time. I wore him in a backpack or baby carrier almost constantly and he would frequently put me between him and anything that felt overwhelming. He was also incredibly unsteady on his feet. Now, Max walks and runs, climbs, goes down the slide and now understands the enjoyment of exploring and experiencing life on his own terms. His general quality of life has increased immensely.
- Shoes. From age two until he turned 3, Max refused footwear. Now we know it was because the only way he felt secure was to have his bare feet directly on the earth. It was grounding for him, a way to know he was safe and stable. After a few craniosacral appointments, he started to better grasp where his body was in space. We were able to put soft bottomed moccasins on him and then eventually graduate to hard soled shoes. He still doesn’t LOVE having his feet covered, as having his bare feet squeezed is a huge part of his sensory input, but he will wear shoes when he needs to. A huge win.
- Headaches. Max had Chiari decompression surgery in late April of this year which is brain surgery. We didn’t realize that he had a chiari 1 malformation previously, nor did we understand that he probably lived the majority of his little life with intense headaches. We are certain that craniosacral therapy helped relieve that pressure for him prior to his surgery. Looking back, we’re so glad he was getting relief, even when we didn’t realize he was in so much pain.
- Fletcher recognizes the ways that craniosacral therapy helps him. His awareness is staggering. He can tell when it’s time for a session with our beloved Mary and chats with her while she’s working on him like they’re old friends. It has become a part of his therapy repertoire – his big giant sensory toolbox.
- Both of our boys are able to identify where they need our therapist to work her magic. Max now walks into her office and places her hands where he needs a release the most. It’s fascinating and to be honest, gives us so much hope. What he may lack in verbal communication he more than makes up for in the unique and innovative ways he finds to communicate his needs. There’s a wisdom about the way he does so with Mary and we feel privileged to witness it.
- Mike and I now receive craniosacral therapy, too. Mary pinpoints what areas are tight and gives our bodies tune-ups when we visit. The physical implications are wonderful and provide a shared experience for all four of us – one we can all relate to. As parents who often encounter stress and anxiety (and let’s be honest, dysregulation of our own) along our journey, this type of therapy brings a warmth and grounding that we didn’t realize we needed. We leave feeling nurtured, cared for and supported.
- The central nervous system isn’t talked about much at a lay person level when it comes to navigating the sensory needs of children. At least that hasn’t been our experience. What we have learned the last few years is that when we take care of our respective central nervous systems, whether it be through craniosacral therapy, meditation, yoga, breathing exercises or by other means, life is generally calmer and easier for all of us.
We’d recommend craniosacral therapy for absolutely anyone, but especially littles (and adults) struggling with sensory dysregulation. As with any therapy, what’s almost as important as the type of therapy is the actual therapist. You’re looking for a therapist who comes with experience, the ability to relate to and connect with whomever is receiving the therapy, and uses intuition as their guide. Our therapist is an occupational therapist by trade. I’ve also known massage therapists certified in craniosacral. Ideally you’d find someone with experience serving children who can meet them where they are and has a deep understanding of the ways sensory dysregulation can impact the human experience.
Our therapist makes such a difference for us that we’re willing to drive 90 miles one way once or twice a month. She’s that good. If craniosacral therapy sounds like a good fit for your family, I hope that you can find someone like that. <3