Sensory challenges are HARD. For us, the lack of predictability can be agonizing and the amount of work that goes into managing transitions often feels like a lot. But, the visual schedules, regulation strategies, sensory diet and therapy appointments are totally worth the time and effort.
Two and a half years after starting occupational therapy, we have a completely different kid than before. This is largely due to strategies, heavy work, structure and consistency with appointments. Fletcher has come so far. Sometimes we forget that. Sure, he has moments of dysregulation, but I can’t tell you the last time we had a total meltdown. He has so many tools in his toolbox that he uses them as needed – often without any reminders.
When we entered that OT office for the first time, I was grasping at straws. I needed something – ANYTHING to help us navigate the frequent meltdowns, difficulty with transitions and defiance. Our boy was struggling and we were operating below empty.
I talked about Zones of Regulation in a previous post and I am not kidding when I say that it changed our lives. Truly. But it wasn’t immediate. It helped more quickly than other strategies I think, but it required our commitment to implementing it at home. Mike and I had to be on the same page and then bring Fletcher along with us. We adopted the language as our own. And honestly, we still use it as a way to help Fletch understand where we’re at. The other day I heard Mike say “Fletcher, the longer your body stays at yellow, the more my body feels red. Let’s figure out what your body needs.”
Here’s the thing. Strategies for helping to navigate sensory challenges aren’t about a quick fix. This is more about playing the long game. The work that’s put in on the front end will eventually pay off in the long run. It may be difficult to see, especially when you’re living it day in and day out. But then one day, you’ll take a minute to pause and look back and realize how much your collective efforts helped your little love grow and evolve.
We’re noticing the same thing with Max. While he needs different interventions than Fletcher, it’s the same principle. Commitment to consistency with therapy and strategies, putting his sensory diet at the top of our list of priorities and working really hard to be in tune with what he’s telling us he needs through his actions. And overall, trusting the process.
Trust comes into play a lot in supporting our boys. Trusting the therapists who are helping us navigate SPD, trusting ourselves as parents who want the best for our boys, trusting our respective guts when something (or someone) just doesn’t feel right and advocating for something different. And trusting each other as partners – recognizing that we want the same things for our babies, are a team, and honoring when our other half needs a break.
All of this takes practice. It isn’t perfect. But we have found that while challenging at times, it’s worth it. We live by “progress over perfection” and “slow and steady wins the race.”