I am incredibly fortunate to have a dear friend (soul sister is probably a more accurate description) who is navigating similar territory with her son. Our boys are kindred spirits which lends itself to the constant swapping of ideas and strategies, moral support and the occasional mom’s night out. I honestly don’t know what I would do without her.
She had a therapist suggest the H.A.L.T. model for her son. I hadn’t heard of it before, but when she described what it meant, it sounded like a great tool. What struck me was the intuitive simplicity that would allow Fletcher to really embrace it… and that he did. (So often less is more on this journey!)
H.A.L.T. (Hungry, Attention Needed, Lonely, Tired) almost takes Zones of Regulation up a notch because in addition to describing HOW they feel, children can also identify what they NEED. We use the two models (Zones of Regulation and H.A.L.T. in tandem).
Being a visual family, I made a little poster to put up in our kitchen. This always helps all of us. We introduced it, talked about what it meant, went over a few examples and then put it right to work. At the first sign of discomfort or distress, we’d bring Fletcher over to the H.A.L.T. poster and ask him to identify what he needed. By the next day he was using it independently. Sometimes he’d simply go up to the poster and point to ‘L’ if he needed a hug, or ‘H’ if he was hungry. We were pleasantly surprised with how quickly this seemed to work for him.
H.A.L.T. encourages littles to take a pause and then communicate what they need rather than succumbing to a meltdown. It’s another way to empower our children to find their voices and put words to how they’re feeling. It’s a beginning step in having them help identify a possible solution as well. (We all want our kids to be solution-oriented, right?)
Our children are all unique in their own sweet little ways. Strategies don’t come in “one size fits all” so every strategy doesn’t work for every child. But we have learned that having several tools in our toolbox is helpful – you never know what will resonate. H.A.L.T. worked for us as it was presented. Maybe it doesn’t for your child, but a tweak or two could absolutely make it more accessible.
Following are links to printable H.A.L.T. posters. Feel free to use them as is, or create your own to better suit your needs. <3