by Annie | Aug 10, 2021 | Blog
Sensory challenges are HARD. For us, the lack of predictability can be agonizing and the amount of work that goes into managing transitions often feels like a lot. But, the visual schedules, regulation strategies, sensory diet and therapy appointments are totally worth the time and effort.
Two and a half years after starting occupational therapy, we have a completely different kid than before. This is largely due to strategies, heavy work, structure and consistency with appointments. Fletcher has come so far. Sometimes we forget that. Sure, he has moments of dysregulation, but I can’t tell you the last time we had a total meltdown. He has so many tools in his toolbox that he uses them as needed – often without any reminders.
When we entered that OT office for the first time, I was grasping at straws. I needed something – ANYTHING to help us navigate the frequent meltdowns, difficulty with transitions and defiance. Our boy was struggling and we were operating below empty.
I talked about Zones of Regulation in a previous post and I am not kidding when I say that it changed our lives. Truly. But it wasn’t immediate. It helped more quickly than other strategies I think, but it required our commitment to implementing it at home. Mike and I had to be on the same page and then bring Fletcher along with us. We adopted the language as our own. And honestly, we still use it as a way to help Fletch understand where we’re at. The other day I heard Mike say “Fletcher, the longer your body stays at yellow, the more my body feels red. Let’s figure out what your body needs.”
Here’s the thing. Strategies for helping to navigate sensory challenges aren’t about a quick fix. This is more about playing the long game. The work that’s put in on the front end will eventually pay off in the long run. It may be difficult to see, especially when you’re living it day in and day out. But then one day, you’ll take a minute to pause and look back and realize how much your collective efforts helped your little love grow and evolve.
We’re noticing the same thing with Max. While he needs different interventions than Fletcher, it’s the same principle. Commitment to consistency with therapy and strategies, putting his sensory diet at the top of our list of priorities and working really hard to be in tune with what he’s telling us he needs through his actions. And overall, trusting the process.
Trust comes into play a lot in supporting our boys. Trusting the therapists who are helping us navigate SPD, trusting ourselves as parents who want the best for our boys, trusting our respective guts when something (or someone) just doesn’t feel right and advocating for something different. And trusting each other as partners – recognizing that we want the same things for our babies, are a team, and honoring when our other half needs a break.
All of this takes practice. It isn’t perfect. But we have found that while challenging at times, it’s worth it. We live by “progress over perfection” and “slow and steady wins the race.”
by Annie | Jul 29, 2021 | Blog
Shoe tying… a rite of passage of some littles, and a source of complete and utter frustration for others. Children typically begin tying their own shoes between 5.5-6 years of age. As the school year is fast approaching, I thought I’d provide some resources and strategies for families interested in working on shoe tying in the coming weeks.
For a child to be ready for shoe tying the following skills should continue to be practiced and mastered: bilateral integration (using two hands), crossing midline, fine motor skills/manipulation, sequencing, dexterity, strength, coordination, and visual motor integration.
Foundational Skills
Bilateral Integration Activities: lacing cards, holding a container and placing objects into it with opposing hand, stacking blocks, clapping, tearing paper
Crossing Midline Activities: cross crawls (using one arm, crossing body, and touching opposing knee), windmills, ball pass (standing back-to-back and passing ball without moving feet), dancing, drawing a large figure 8 pattern, tennis, Simon Says
Fine Motor and Dexterity Activities: peeling stickers off shirt, bead stringing, coloring, clothespins, pop beads, lacing cards
Sequencing Activities: obstacle courses, scavenger hunts, following a verbal/written list of directions/instructions
Strengthening Activities: putty, Play Doh, resistive toys (Mr. Potato Head, Zoobs, Legos), clothespins, rubber band board, spinning toys/tops, tongs
Visual-motor Integration Activities: mazes, dot-to-dots, Spot It, Where’s Waldo, Ispy, hidden pictures
Learning to Tie Shoes
- I often recommend that a child begin practicing shoe tying on a shoe that is off however in front of them in the same alignment/orientation as if it was on their foot (pointed away from child)
- I typically suggest starting by practicing with dual-colored laces to allow for visual discrimination to assist with the shoe tying process. You can also tie two colored laces together and lace them on the shoe.
- Practicing using stiffer laces to decrease the floppiness of traditional ties (practice tying and manipulating ties using pipe cleaners)
- This video captures the exact method I teach many of my clients when they’re just learning. I find it really reduces frustration and eliminates a lot of the confusion associated with a more traditional way of tying.
Don’t fret if your child is not ready for shoe tying! There are plenty of stylish alternatives to traditional laces on shoes for kids– no matter their age. Work on this particular life skill as your child is ready. If it becomes a source of frustration, revisit when your child is calm and well-rested. Kids learn things at their own pace and that’s completely okay!
Happy shoe tying!
Emily
by Annie | Jul 26, 2021 | Blog
While many countdown to the end of the school year, thinking about summer typically makes me anxious. How will we fill up our time in constructive ways? How will we avoid major meltdowns? How will we manage playdates and other social situations? How will we positively channel all of the energy? (So. Much. Energy!)
Over time I’ve come to realize that summer success for us can pretty easily be summarized by structure, sensory input, and schedules (think visual). Now that we’re at the mid-way point of this summer, I thought I’d share some of the things that have helped keep us on track. Of course, nothing works 100 percent of the time. Every day isn’t perfect, but we seem to have found a rhythm that works fairly well for our kids this summer – one we’ll likely replicate in the future.
Structure: We enrolled Fletcher in a 3-hour camp 5 days each week. It starts mid-morning which gives him time to wake up and ease into the day, but also forces him to get moving. This particular day camp places tremendous emphasis on being outside and they have a science-related theme each week which he really connects with. They’re heavy on the art projects which typically isn’t his jam, but he is loving everything about camp this summer and he’s proud to bring his projects home to show us. It provides him with a social outlet that he desperately needs, a physical outlet which is imperative for his success, and also gives him access to other adults who gently encourage him when he needs it.
Fletcher has time in the afternoons to unwind a bit, but then we’re off to ninja class, OT or baseball four out of five evenings most weeks. We’re never this scheduled during the school year, but have found he really benefits from having so many structured activities during the summer. Especially when they’re heavy on the physical activity (that in itself is regulating for him).
We opted to enroll Max in private swimming lessons, recognizing that the noise and over stimulation of a pool full of other kiddos wouldn’t work for him. He has therapy twice a week and we’ve figured out a structured schedule for him during the time that Fletcher is at camp to work on getting him ready to start K-3 in the Fall.
I’m not going to lie, come Friday, Mike and I are exhausted. But this has been our most successful summer thus far – by a landslide. I feel like we’ve found a balance where each of our boys is engaged in just enough for them and we still have plenty of time as a family to hike, play outside, go on little adventures, etc. What we know is that finding that sweet spot is critical for us to both survive and thrive during summer. (We have been reminded that summer spontaneity doesn’t always work for our crew – but that’s for another post entirely!)
Structure looks different for every family. It may mean daycare, play dates, day camp, summer school – it doesn’t really matter what it is as long as it provides the child with an opportunity to feel settled and safe with access to the strategies and tools they need to manage their sensory needs.
Sensory Input: Give us all the physical, proprioceptive and vestibular activity. All day, every day!
Both of our boys require a lot of sensory input to achieve and maintain regulation. Some days require more than others and we’re not always successful, but it’s not for lack of trying.
We invested in a giant trampoline in our backyard this summer (we’re very fortunate to have the space for such a thing and found a great sale – but the same input can be achieved with a smaller trampoline, inflatable bounce house, etc.), have different kinds of swings, a hammock, climbing holds on our tree (I never knew that ratchet straps were so awesome, totally recommend these if you have access to a decent-sized tree but don’t want to drill into it!) and lots of places to crash in the house.
Recently, Fletcher has been asking for deep pressure and Max has been holding his head in a way to indicate that he’d like some, too. So we do a lot of squeezes, some brushing, rolling with a back massager and even some mindfulness. (I listed some of our favorite ways to get proprioceptive and vestibular input on our website as well as ideas for compression, but I strongly recommend seeking the expertise of an occupational therapist to help determine the right sensory diet for your child.)
This, too, has required that we work really hard to be present so we are in-tune with what our boys need. We find ourselves asking Fletcher “what does your body need?” pretty frequently, and with the help of a few years of Zones of Regulation, HALT and Occupational Therapy, he’s usually able to tell us.
Max uses a communication device to talk with us so we’ve added buttons for “hug”, “squeeze my feet”, “swing”, “trampoline”, etc. to his talker. He has become really good at using those specific buttons when he needs something.
Our boys having the tools they need to communicate that they need input and even what type of input they’re craving has been an incredible gift for us. Does it take practice? Absolutely. Does it require that we as their parents model for them? Yes. Is all of the time invested worth it? 100%.
Schedules: We’re big fans of visual schedules. Fletcher doesn’t need them quite as much anymore, but if there’s a big change in routine, we’ll still make one for him. He’s been a little pokey in the mornings, so we’re likely going back to our morning checklist soon here – we got a little out of routine after the school year and I can tell!
In general, the visual schedule (whether a checklist, timeline, list, etc.) gives our kids’ brains the time to organize around what’s coming next, what’s expected of them, or what transitions are ahead. It gives them some control in a situation, especially if they’re able to check things off as they complete them and typically means less meltdowns and more independence.
While it does take a little effort to put a visual schedule together and then change/update as needed, it’s a worthwhile investment of time on the front end because in our experience, it significantly reduces the time we spend navigating meltdowns or negotiations on the back end.
by Annie | Jun 24, 2021 | Blog
Hi Everyone! Emily Gutjahr here! I’m so excited to be here as a guest blogger to share some tips and tricks from the lens of a pediatric occupational therapist! I’m happy to share strategies based on my experiences, but if sensory concerns impact your child’s day to day activities, I strongly encourage families to seek a referral from a primary physician for an OT evaluation.
I have been an OT in pediatrics for four years, working with children of all ages and abilities including neurological disorders, Autism Spectrum Disorder, sensory processing, developmental delays, neuromotor disorders, fine motor delays, and handwriting difficulties. I strive to incorporate a multi-sensory approach into my individualized treatment session and utilize a client-centered approach to maximize engagement, participation, and functional outcomes in therapy. In my free time, I enjoy reading, spending time with family, gardening, being outside, skiing, cooking, and traveling.
Speaking of traveling… while it is a favorite pastime for many, traveling can be an anxiety-inducing experience for families who have children with sensory processing and modulation challenges. Because traveling almost always involves a ton of new sensory input, what’s typically intended to be a fun experience can quickly become very overwhelming for everyone involved.
Imagine all the sensory input that can be experienced at an airport for example. People walking around, announcements over the loudspeaker, toilets flushing, coffee brewing, planes taking off, metal detectors beeping, the smell of foods, rolling suitcases, etc. So. Much. Sensory. Input! All those sights, smells and sounds are called ambient information and while most people can block out ambient information in their immediate environments, individuals who experience sensory processing difficulties are not able to appropriately modulate sensory inputs. When more input is received than can be processed, their sensory systems are completely overloaded which can potentially result in meltdowns, difficulty with transitions, shutting down, defiant behaviors (acting out), attempts to flee environment, crying/yelling/screaming, hiding, etc.. That’s hard on the child and on their families.
Helping your child navigate new and overwhelming sensory situations can make all the difference. So let’s talk strategies!
It’s important to note that not all strategies work for every child in every scenario so I recommend having several “tools” in your toolbox. If one doesn’t work, give something else a try and know that what works in one situation, may not work for another. With enough practice, however, managing sensory needs can become second nature and some children are eventually able to employ strategies on their own. Take deep breaths during moments of frustration, come prepared, and work to remain emotionally regulated as the adult so you’re able to help your child do the same.
Following is a list of strategies I frequently share with families as a starting point. You know your child best, but here are some things to consider:
Heavy Work:
Proprioception and heavy work can be a great way to help regulate a child. Proprioception input is any sensation provided to the joints, muscles, or connective tissues and can include pushing, pulling, lifting, and carrying heavy objects. Proprioception can be beneficial as a regulation strategy but also useful for letting a child know where their body is in space (body awareness).
- Jumping Jacks
- Wall Push-ups
- Lunges
- Carrying a backpack with added weight (make sure it’s not too heavy for child, but packs of baby wipes work great for this!)
- Pulling or carrying luggage
- Weighted blanket or lap pad (an appropriate weight for a child)
- Stretching
- Animal walks
- Deep breathing
- Stress ball
- Building with Legos (the clipping together and pulling a part)
- Putty or Play Doh
Auditory:
Oral:
- Crunchy/chewy snack (gum, crunchy granola bars, raisins, fruit strips, gummy candy, sports bars, lollipops)
- Cold snacks (popsicle, frozen yogurt, frozen fruit)
- Chewy necklace
- Drinking from a water bottle with a straw (CamelBak water bottles are great because they require child to bite and suck simultaneously which provides multiple points of input.)
Transitional Strategies:
- Foreshadowing (so that the child knows what will happen next)
- Sharing pictures, videos, or a social story ahead of time (some children benefit from starting this process well in advance of a new experience while others just need a day or two to give their brains enough time to organize around what’s coming next.
- Use of “first, then” statements (first we will pack the car then we will drive to Grandma’s house.)
- Bringing a favorite toy or comfort object from home (pillow, blanket, stuffed animal, etc.)
- Writing out a checklist or using pictures (visual schedule) and having the child check off or put a sticker on the completed steps.
- Drive, park car, wait in line for security, wait at gate for plane, get on plane, etc.
- Providing choices (Noah, what would you like to do first? Play on the playground or eat lunch?)
- Faded transitions (counting down, timer, etc.)
When Flying for Travel:
Most airlines are very accommodating with regard to sensory processing. Call the airline ahead of time and explain your child’s needs. They will often allow families to board the plane last and make other necessary accommodations as needed. Some airports also have a playground area that can be used for added sensory input.
If your child prefers small, quiet spaces, seek out corner chairs that are slightly secluded if you can find them. You could also bring a small blanket to drape over an airport chair to serve as a tent/fort to reduce some of the noise and visual stimulation.
Car Travel:
For car travel I often suggest creating a travel sensory bin that includes some of the following: Koosh ball, fidgets, bubble wrap, stress ball, Play Doh/putty, pop tubes, Legos, pinwheel, light-up toys, etc.
If you are going on a long road trip and plan to purchase new sensory toys, you might want to consider wrapping these items up so your child has something new to open every few hours to help pass the time. Setting a timer could help them know when their next “surprise” can be opened and may eliminate (or at least reduce)vthe “is it time yet?” questions 😊. A similar strategy could be used to help minimize the “are we there yet?” as well.
Other strategies for managing sensory needs can be found on the Swinging in the Rain website listed by sensory area as well as links to some fidgets and other budget friendly tools that are great for travel.
Wishing you a safe and happy summer. Until next time!
by Annie | Jun 13, 2021 | Blog
I spent a long weekend in Denver celebrating a milestone birthday for one of my dearest friends recently. It was the first time I had been gone from my entire family overnight since before the start of the pandemic and the longest I had ever left Max. I knew my husband had it handled (and he totally handled it!), but the mom guilt before I left was REAL. I furiously organized what I could, wrote down important information, set out some clothes, grocery shopped, cleaned, packed and made list after list.
Preparing Fletcher for my trip was probably the most difficult part. We were again faced with the dance of telling him about my trip in enough time for him to organize around what was happening but not early enough that he perseverated on me being gone. It’s such a delicate balance. We’re getting better at this as time goes on and it helps that Fletcher is getting a little older, but it always feels like a bit of a gamble. It just happened to work out with my flight departure that I had enough time to take him to school the morning I left. That turned out to be the best way to do our goodbyes. It was like a normal school drop off and even though he knew he wouldn’t see me that afternoon, he was so preoccupied with his friends that he didn’t get upset and we didn’t need a long drawn out farewell with lots of tears. It was perfect for both of us.
My weekend was filled with copious amounts of nature (oh my, those Colorado mountains!) and nurture (time with dear friends always fills my cup). It was exactly what I needed when I needed it and I have vowed to never wait as long for a mama trip again.
On a granular level, I found great joy in the simplest things. I drank hot coffee, hiked without a backpack loaded with snacks, drinks, diapers and fidgets, stayed hydrated, spent more than 15 minutes getting ready in the morning and did so while listening to music or an audio book. I had time to wind down before bed, got uninterrupted sleep, enjoyed long chats and in the biggest way, I was reminded of the person I am outside of being a mom and a wife. I love both of those titles tremendously, but parts of ‘me’ were lost this year and I needed to find them again.
I’ve visited the mountains many times before. While I’ve been awestruck by their beauty, this time felt different. I fell in love with those majestic mountains this visit and I’m so grateful. They were a timely reminder that this life is so much bigger than any one of us, beauty surrounds us – we just have to open our eyes (and be present), and with time and space comes perspective.
My biggest take away from a major, long overdue reset is that while there’s a time and a place to have a clean house, laundry handled and the lawn mowed (all things that hold some importance to me), my biggest priority is spending time with my family. These “our kids ae little” moments are fleeting. Time doesn’t stand still for anyone and they are growing up right before our eyes. In reflecting, I realized that there are many days I don’t even think about being in the moment because I’m so focused on one of my many lists of things to do, logistics, scheduling and all the things.
This reset gave me time to be in my own thoughts. To genuinely reflect. To find beauty and solace in staring at the mountains and not simultaneously doing anything else . I found being unplugged refreshing. Aimlessly scrolling through social media doesn’t bring me joy. But I still find myself doing it. I was reminded that it’s okay to get lost in a book (right now it’s audiobooks for me) and that I feel my best when I’m hydrated, eating food that’s good for me and moving my body. I had this epiphany that it’s perfectly acceptable to jump on the trampoline with the boys instead of pulling weeds or picking up, that I want to say “yes” more often when they ask me to play rather than “well I can’t right now because I have to…” or “in a minute, let me just finish these dishes…” They deserve that. And you know what? So do I.
I’ve been focused on wanting to lose some weight. You know… the kind that three years ago could’ve been qualified as “baby weight” but then I watched that ship sail into the sunset so now I’m just left with stress eating weight. Doesn’t sound nearly as sweet! What I realized while on my trip is that while I want to lose weight, I actually want to find balance… more. And I’ve come to believe that with that balance will come the shedding of baggage in the form of stress, anxiety and pounds. When things are overly complicated, I’m just not able to stick to them. The last thing I need in my life right now is more obligations, more parameters, more things to follow and then stop because it’s just too much.
The solitude of my time away and a good conversation with my dear pal gave me the opportunity to create a plan. I realized that I can keep it simple by creating space for MORE of the things that are good for me and being mindful about the things that need far LESS of my time and energy. Here’s what I came up with:
More:
Water
Fruits and veggies
Movement
Mindfulness
Joy
Sleep
Being in the moment
Less:
Stress
Processed food
SUGAR
Screens
Social Media
Comparison
Guilt
I am someone who needs a visual. So I made one. Feel free to use it if this resonates with you (link below). I’ll be hanging one in my bathroom, putting one on the fridge and keeping one in my planner (yep…I still live the paper planner life!)
My biggest take away from my much needed “break” was that I need to create the time and space to do that more often and I encourage anyone who needs to hear it to do the same. It doesn’t have to be expensive or require airport security lines. It could be a solo night in a hotel, an overnight with a friend or family member, maybe just a day in nature or a very slow walk through every single aisle at Target with your favorite beverage in hand. Whatever it is and however it looks… just find a way to create that time for yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup as they say. I’ve tried. It fails every single time.
I’ve been home for a week already and I can’t believe how much lighter and happier I feel. I have more patience, feel more connected with my husband and am able to find more joy in even the simplest moments. I might even go so far as to say I feel present. I know it won’t feel like this all the time, but I also know how to recognize when it’s time for another break. Awareness is key.
Parenting and partnering are hard and so is navigating sensory challenges. When you put all of that together and you add normal everyday stressors, life can feel impossible. I hope you’re able to find a way to take a break (even if you have to be creative) when you need it. You deserve it.
XOXO
Balance Visual
by Annie | Jun 11, 2021 | Blog
We made it. WE made it. WE MADE IT! Emphasis on the WE. This year was really something and it took a literal village for us to get to the finishline. But here we are, taking a deep breath on the evening of Fletcher’s last day of kindergarten. We officially have a first grader. A first grader! I was not at all prepared to have those words come out of my mouth.
I didn’t realize how little time I had taken to process just how hard this year has been until all of a sudden, the last day was here and I found myself tearing up while I gave Fletcher’s teacher a giant hug of gratitude. We wouldn’t have made it without her.
The year got off to a rocky start, as it did for many. Our very literal boy couldn’t get on board with calling virtual learning “school.” “This is NOT school, Mom,” he would say with conviction. And on some level, he was right. It didn’t require that he get up and out of the house with his backpack and his lunch bag in tow. It didn’t offer any opportunities to be in the physical presence of his classmates and it didn’t allow him to enjoy the typical kindergarten classroom with brightly colored rugs, alphabet bulletin boards, the old school kitchen area and the smell of vinyl nap mats. And…I most certainly was NOT his teacher. We did our best to replicate ‘school’ at home, but it just wasn’t the same. So we stopped calling it school all together and referred to it as virtual learning – exclusively. That seemed to help. At least a little.
Despite what felt like an endless stream of insurmountable challenges. Fletcher grew this year. And he grew and grew and grew. Physically of course – he’s several inches taller and now requests hair gel for his short locs (oh my Mama heart!). But also emotionally and academically. He is reading sight words, finding joy in doing math, and making connections. He wouldn’t touch a writing utensil in September without a major meltdown. This morning he wrote a note to his teacher on his own. HE WROTE A NOTE.
When his school went back to in-person learning we were so torn on if we should send Fletcher. We ultimately prioritized his mental health and wellbeing, having incredible trust in his teacher and school leaders to maintain a school environment that was as safe as possible. And it turns out we made the right decision for him. I’ll never forget the first day back. Mike and I walked him to school together. I fell apart on the way home – would he do okay? Would he be safe? Would he keep his mask on? Would he be able to handle all of the sensory stimulation? Would he be able to navigate friendships and other social situations?
His teacher was managing virtual and in-person learning simultaneously (that’s complete insanity in and of itself, but we’ll save that for another day). Being the superhero that she is (and probably sensing my trepidation), she took the time to send me a note that day. “Fletcher was wonderful today,” it said. “He will be a leader and helper in our room. So glad he is in person with me!”
A leader and helper. I don’t know that I would’ve read those same words in September, but they were music to my ears in April. She’ll never know how much that note meant to me, but it was exactly what I needed in that very moment. And she was right. Fletcher had grown into his own (more than I realized). He was so happy to be back in person with his peers and it showed. Every day Mike would ask him how he helped someone that day at school. And everyday he was able to list off something positive he had done for someone else. He was SO proud of himself. That pride carried over to us.
I don’t ever want to do another year like this again, but I am incredibly grateful for what it taught us and to have had more time with my babies (even though many days were really hard). While I’m not sad to bid this very challenging school year farewell, I will carry a few things with me:
- Children are resilient – more than we often give them credit for.
- What doesn’t completely break us strengthens us. We were tested in ways we never could have imagined and are stronger on the last day of the school year than we were on the first.
- There is value in having the gift of time. Even when it’s hard.
- Time for caregivers to recharge (in any situation) isn’t just important, it’s vital.
- It’s important to be able to look back on a period of time and recognize how far you’ve come. Progress over perfection every single time. Progress is so powerful.
- Many of our systems were broken before the pandemic and they remain that way. We have a lot of work to do to ensure everyone has access to the resources they need. All of our babies deserve to feel safe, loved, cared for. No matter their situation.
We’re happy to be swinging into summer as we send love to all who, like us, are ready to relax, recharge and regroup…however that looks.
And a shoutout to our village. You know who you are. We are so grateful for all the ways you supported our family this past year.
XOXO
