by Annie | Sep 30, 2021 | Blog
Meltdowns of any kind are hard on kids and caregivers, but especially when they happen frequently. When meltdowns occur, it can sometimes be difficult to determine if the root cause is sensory or behavioral. It is typical for children to experience both types of meltdowns and they often look similar: inattention, fidgeting, defiance, withdrawn, kicking, screaming, etc. It is important for us as parents/caregivers/therapists to try and identify the trigger for the meltdown to better understand the why so we can be solution-oriented and productive in our approach to de-escalation.
IS IT BEHAVIORAL?
Another way to frame this is to ask yourself Is it willful? Willful implies that a child had a CHOICE to act/respond in a given way. Behaviors are often learned because of attention (positive or negative), rewards, or reinforcements.
For example:
1- If a child throws something we may be quick to respond with a harsh “no” and give them “attention” for the behavior which reinforces it.
2- If a child purposefully falls to the ground at school and peers laugh, that reaction encourages the behavior because the child is getting some form of attention as a result.
3- If a child is told it is nap time and screams/yells and throws themself on the floor and the parents/caregivers let the child stay up later; this reinforces the behavior which will likely occur again because the child was rewarded for acting in a certain way.
The best and most productive way to respond to a behavioral meltdown is to show little to no emotion, use simple, repetitive language, guide the child, and ignore the behavior to help/attempt to distinguish it.
IS IT SENSORY?
To better understand a sensory meltdown, we must understand the sensory “why”…is the child overstimulated? Under stimulated?
Overstimulated: A child may experience sensory overload (and avoid certain sensory inputs). This may look like kicking, screaming, spitting, throwing, seeking out a quiet space (flight response) because the child’s body is overstimulated by sensory information in their environment (bright lights, crowded room, loud noises, etc.). Their senses are firing in their brain quicker than they can process them and they are completely overwhelmed – often without the words to communicate how their body feels.
Under Stimulated: A child may experience sensory-seeking tendencies because their body is under stimulated and needs more of a particular kind of sensory input. This may look like: bouncing, spinning, chewing, crashing, etc. This is because they are trying to give their body the input it is needing/craving.
The best and most productive way to respond to a sensory meltdown is to identify and remove the triggers when possible and then find interventions that work for your child. Not every strategy works every time. But with practice and reinforcement, children are often able to determine what strategies work for them and eventually maybe even implement them independently. For input ideas, visit the Sensory at Home page of this blog.
| Behavior Meltdown/Tantrum |
Sensory Meltdown |
| -Seeking attention or specific reaction |
-Child shows no interest in the way others react to their meltdown |
| -A demand is placed on child prior to reaction, or the child asked/demanded something prior to the behavior |
-Happens out of nowhere (difficult to identify trigger). Child usually is not asking/demanding anything prior |
| -Child is aware of surroundings/environment and is making eye contact |
-Little to no eye contact and is unaware of surroundings/environment |
| -Meltdown may end quickly if the child gets the desired outcome |
-Longer lasting and may require more time and coping skills to recover |
| -Purposeful |
-Biological response |
It is important to keep in mind that meltdowns are age appropriate and a part of a child’s development. Pushing limits and testing boundaries are common as children work to develop a sense of identity. Please also note that behavioral outbursts or meltdowns can be a form of communication and usually serve some sort of purpose (not feeling well, upset about not getting something they want, fear, frustration, etc.)
If you feel that your child is struggling with sensory meltdowns and you are not already working with an occupational therapist, I strongly recommend working with your child’s pediatrician to get a referral for an OT evaluation. That’s a great starting point.
If this blogpost leaves you with additional questions, please feel free to comment below and I’ll happily respond.
-Emily
by Annie | Sep 16, 2021 | Blog
We are fortunate to have a village of loving, supportive family members and close friends who lift us up when we need it and love our babies unconditionally just like we do. They work hard to understand our life without judgement and we wouldn’t know what to do without them. They are without a doubt our people.
I had an experience this week, however, that reminded me of the value of also finding and connecting with people who understand our journey first hand – because they live it.
I took Max to a playgroup sponsored by OT, PT, Nursing, and Art and Music Therapy students at a local university. The group aims to provide an opportunity for children with special needs to socialize through integrated play. Max started school for the first time last week and he is in an inclusive setting which we feel strongly about, but we also want him to be able to connect with peers who are navigating similar challenges. The program description made it sound like it would do just that.
I wasn’t sure what to expect nor was I feeling particularly equipped to socialize – we’ve had a doozy of a few weeks and the introvert part of me was speaking far louder than its extrovert counterpart. But I’m so glad I pushed through and went.
I didn’t spend a lot of time talking with other parents, Max was all over the place exploring and taking it all in. But I found incredible comfort in knowing that all of the other children there were on a journey similar to Max. So when he got up from my lap abruptly during story time and ran into the middle of the circle with a loud squeal, it wasn’t a thing. Parents nodded knowingly and went on about story time completely unphased. And when he was covering his ears because it was too much chaos for him, a lovely mom offered us her spare pair of noise cancelling headphones.
It wasn’t until that night that I realized just how on edge I feel in social situations with others who may not know our story or our life. Almost more than the opportunity for Max to interact with other kids and adults he isn’t familiar with, I was grateful for an hour where I could find solace in others knowing. Knowing the struggles, the journey, the challenges and the victories – with nothing more than a simple hello and the occasional reassuring glance.
So, if the opportunity presents itself for you to be amongst other parents, kiddos, families who are navigating similar struggles – go. Go even if you’re tired, have nothing left and can’t even begin to think about making small talk with a perfect stranger. Go. Because shortly you’ll probably realize that you have the big stuff in common and you’ll likely find comfort in the reciprocal knowing. No need to explain, no need to justify, no need to talk even. Just an opportunity to be together and sit in your collective knowing. And it might be there that you find your people.
Love and light, friends!
by Annie | Sep 6, 2021 | Blog
Over time, we’ve realized which tools work for us for easing transitions and making our days run as smoothly as possible. The first week of school was a good reminder. Last week there were two front runners that helped reduce morning anxiety and the need for multiple reminders to get dressed as well as making after school and evening transitions relatively smooth.
1. Visual schedules: Seriously. The real MVP last week! I modified our usual take on visual schedules so now Fletcher and Max each have their own set of morning, after school and evening checklists that include pictures, words and a check box. Fletcher in particular loves to check things off when he’s done and can do so with a dry erase marker because they’re laminated (you can also use a sheet protector). Checking things off his list gives him a sense of pride and ownership that seem to supersede his usual “stuck thinking” around transitions. This also helps both of our boys know what to expect. For the first time ever last week Fletcher not only made his bed, but also every other bed in the house. That was something to celebrate and with so much positive feedback, he’s done it every day since without being asked!
2. Labeled drawer organizer for a week’s worth of outfits: Last year we organized Fletcher’s clothes in a hanging closet organizer. That helped me, but it didn’t really help him. They weren’t labeled and some were out of his reach. This year, I bought a large 3-drawer plastic organizer and labeled each drawer with days of the week. They’re nice and big and easy for him to see. They go in order from Monday through Sunday. When he wakes up now, Fletcher goes right to the drawer for that day and puts on the entire contents…INCLUDING SOCKS! I didn’t have to ask him at all – it just became embedded in his morning routine and was another source of daily celebration. I’ll take every bit of that!
:
I’ve made all of our visual schedule templates (for home and school), labels and social story templates available on our Seasons of Sensory store via the Teachers pay Teachers website which can be accessed HERE.
If you have questions on how to use any of our tools or need a modification for your purposes, please don’t hesitate to reach out via email at seasonsofsensory@gmail.com or via message through the blog Facebook page.
Here’s to smooth transitions for all. <3
by Annie | Aug 31, 2021 | Blog
I think I’ve always struggled with anxiety on some level, but it has really reared its ugly head the last few years as we’ve ramped up our sensory processing journey. Having so many unpredictable elements in our lives has given my anxiety a serious platform. And to be honest, the Back-to-School rigmarole has brought it to an entirely new level with the pandemic adding a layer of complexity and conflict unlike most others. I’m fearful of sending both kids because of the health risks, but I know they desperately need the socialization. We can’t get Max to keep anything on his face for longer than 2 seconds because of his sensory needs so I’m worried about him being unprotected. He’s non-verbal (although communicates well with a device) so I’m terrified of sending him into a building without one of us even though I know he’ll be in amazing hands and will benefit from being around same-aged peers. Gah… so many heavy things.
There’s no doubt in my mind that Fletcher has some underlying anxiety as well which is usually managed by physical activity, visual schedules and working hard to over prepare him for what’s coming next. Even more difficult than anxiety for him, however, is anticipation. It’s that ambiguous feeling that is difficult to put into words and has us living life in the yellow zone (for all you Zones of Regulation folks!) for days on end. He is literally bouncing off the walls and it seems like no amount of physical activity or heavy work can even come close to bringing him down a few pegs. He’s such a mix of emotions – excited to see his buddies, nervous to meet his new teacher, super pumped about gym class, a little leery of being away from home for so long each day (7 hours to be exact, he’ll tell you!) and scared about the delta variant.
Today was a particularly challenging day as it related to managing his energy. He’s my consistent sensory seeker and he was in constant motion. At any given moment he was stomping, jumping, twirling, swimming, whistling, doing cartwheels or endlessly crashing. He couldn’t get enough.
So when we were calming down before bedtime and he was doing flips from his bed to his brother’s I knew our nightly routine would need a little tweaking. I asked him how his body felt and he replied with “Yellow, Mom. I just have so much energy!” What an unsettling feeling for a little body like his!
I asked him to lay down on his bed and take several big belly breaths. He twirled his stuffed beluga whale while he did it. I watched as the whale’s movements got a little slower and asked if he was ready for our marble mindfulness game. He settled in and I asked him to envision a marble on top of his head. When we do this, he gets to tell me how big it is and what colors are on it. Tonight it was giant and had a mix of five colors – silver, gold, red, blue and green.
I had him close his eyes and picture where the marble was on the outside of his body as I said the words. “The marble is traveling slowly from your forehead down to your nose. Now over to your right ear, down to your mouth and under your chin. Feel the marble going down your chest to your belly, etc. until it gets to his toes. Typically if he is needing more mindfulness after that, I’ll do the same thing but change sides of his body, or have the marble go under his feet and make its way back up to his head.
Tonight, Max was out of sorts, too. So as I was saying this out loud for Fletcher, I gave Max deep pressure on that part of his body. His head, elbows, shoulders, knees, and feet all got big squeezes as he was winding down and he leaned right into it.
Fletcher said “Mom I think if you do that ten more times I’ll be asleep.”
Surprisingly it only took two rounds. I checked in with myself when we were done and I felt more relaxed, too. In that moment I could appreciate listening to the level breathing of both of my babies in the same room, soaking up the cuddles with Max and the serene state of Fletcher as he fell deeper into his peaceful sleep. It was the first time all day that his body had the opportunity to truly rest.
Tomorrow we do our annual practice walk to school where Fletcher hops on his scooter and gets a giant dose of heavy work en route. At school he reminds me of the door he’ll enter, where he’ll line up and maybe even who he thinks he’ll see on the first day before playing on the playground for a bit. We’ll be managing feelings and expectations and most certainly anticipation, but also making sure he feels as prepared as possible for the new year.
I know we’re not the only ones feeling the pressure and anticipation of such a big transition. Sending a little extra love to others who need it. A good year to all. <3
by Annie | Aug 27, 2021 | Blog
Beyond all things pumpkin spice, Fall brings the excitement of a new school year, reuniting with friends and teachers and the delight of a backpack full of school supplies. For children who struggle with functional transitions, it is important to develop a routine and schedule to ease the anticipation of so many changes happening at once.
By decreasing anticipation, worry and anxiety, transitions are typically much smoother. Repetition is key—practice, practice, practice! Children who have difficulties with transitions may benefit from practicing their school routine days or weeks in advance. Following are suggestions for things to practice ahead of the school year, strategies for easing transitions, ideas for getting children the sensory input they need throughout the day and brain break ideas.
Things to practice ahead of the first day of school:
- Morning routine at home
- Walking/driving to bus stop and/or
- Walking/driving to school
- Lining up, practice
- Opening lunchbox
- Wearing mask for extended periods of time – practicing with a timer to increase tolerance (if masks are required)
- Meeting teacher
- Identifying what entrance they’ll use
- Touring the school
Strategies for easing transitions:
- Picture of family or pet inside desk, folder, pencil case, etc.
- Use simple language “first, then” statements
- First, we will walk to school, then you will line up outside and wait for your teacher
- Transitional item
- For example, a stuffed animal (small) that is used to help transition to school. It is given in the car or walk to school and then remains in the backpack until the end of the school day.
- Other transitional items include, matching bracelet with parents, picture of family, small toy/stuffed animal
- Sometimes transitional items can become a distraction so it is important to explain to the child the purpose and intent of this special
- Social story
- Sometimes actual/real images of the classroom, teacher, cafeteria, coat hook, desk, etc. can help ease the transition however, other kids may respond just as well to clipart images (See this Back to School Social Story for an example. Feel free to use this one, find another version online or create your own!)
- Going through the school routine (going to the school, driving/walking)
- Practice opening and eating from lunch box
Sensory Input and Brain Breaks:
Sensory input and brain breaks should be completed every 1-2 hours (depending on the child’s regulation needs). Breaks should be 10-15 minutes and should include heavy work activities (pushing, pulling, carrying, lifting, etc.). Sensory and brain breaks help to promote regulation and system calming by providing the body with heavy input to the muscles/joints. This can easily be incorporated directly into classroom activities, but should be discussed with the child’s teacher.
Sensory input during the school day:
Brain Break Ideas:
Heavy work before/after school:
- Walking to school with extra “weight” in backpack (wipes, books, etc.)
- Riding bike or scooter to school
- Pulling wagon to school
- Playing with resistive objects in the car on the way to school (pop tube, Legos, Squigz, pop-it, etc.)
Wishing you and yours a wonderful school year!
Emily
by Annie | Aug 12, 2021 | Blog
Today was tough. That happens sometimes. We had two really difficult therapy appointments with Max this morning and that kind of set the tone for the day. I left feeling completely drained. One of the most difficult parts of this journey is watching our boys struggle. (And then I went down the rabbit hole of “wondering how on Earth his first school experience is going to go in Fall…so many feelings.)
On days like this I have to remind myself that even though there are hard moments that turn into difficult days, I’m doing my best, WE are doing our best, and our boys are giving us their best. Best doesn’t always mean easy. But we can work with best.
I struggled to get to a place of gratitude and validation on my own tonight after the kids were in bed. I sat in silence while Mike put the kids to bed – I was completely zapped. I was reminded that it’s okay to cry and I cried. We processed together, I admitted how anxious I am about the start of the school year and we talked about our collective trepidation about the numerous transitions in the coming months. Deep breaths. And tomorrow is a new day.
I used to pick myself up by my bootstraps and blow right through the hard days. But over time I’ve learned that I have to give myself permission to feel how hard things can be sometimes, sit with that for a minute, complete the stress cycle* however that looks and then figure out a path forward. When I didn’t honor feeling overwhelmed, drained, upset, terrified…. It always, always manifested in some other way.
So here’s to a better tomorrow for us and for anyone else who struggled today. It will get better.
XOXO
*A note about completing the stress cycle. A dear friend of mine gifted me with the book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski. It has really resonated with me. That stress has to go somewhere and completing the cycle makes complete sense. The audio version is great, too.
