by Annie | Feb 28, 2021 | Blog
In the beginning, a sensory journey can feel heavy. Impossible even. Sorting through mountains of information online or handouts from therapists and trying to decipher how they can be applied at home can be enough to send you into a tailspin. It’s new, you are overwhelmed and doing everything you can just to keep a lid on things at home with little space for anything else. That’s how it was for me anyway.
Over time, though, some of that melts away. As you begin to chip away, one strategy at a time, and figure out what works for your child(ren), you eventually have more capacity for creativity and intertwining sensory integration strategies in a way that feels manageable. As time has gone on, I have become better at finding twofers. Strategies that simultaneously address more than one sensory need and often use things we already have at home or things we can pick-up for very little cost.
Cue Sensory Smoothies (you could also just call them smoothies… I’m a relentless lover of themes and alliteration). While the texture doesn’t work for Max, smoothies are at the top of Fletcher’s list of favorites. This is perfect because a morning smoothie helps us sneak in some much needed sensory input early in the day without it feeling disruptive or abnormal. We use frozen fruit which adds a cold element that feeds his oral input needs and he always drinks smoothies out of a Camelback water bottle (now known as smoothie bottles in our house) which requires that he chomps down on the bite valve while sucking through the straw – both great sources of oral input as well. I add pea protein or kale and fiber powder (or both) to give them an extra boost of nutrition which makes me feel good about including this as a part of our morning routine.
Some days Fletcher likes to make his own smoothie. He carefully adds a banana, frozen berries and our “magic” smoothie powder (protein or kale) into the blender and then pours in a little apple juice or water with a serious expression on his face and the most intense concentration. He pushes the blend button with great intention, watches for awhile as all of his ingredients fold into one another, stops the blender and says “we should taste it first.” And every single time, he slurps a spoonful, admires his great work for a moment and then decides that it needs “just a little more mixing.” Each one of his smoothie creations is like a masterpiece and I love it. Starting the day with an activity that promotes independence and reinforces how helpful Fletcher is provides the positive affirmation he craves. And most days, that little dose of positivity paired with early sensory input is enough to set him up for a relatively easy transition into virtual learning.
As an additional note, Fletcher often craves something cold in the evenings as well. Lately we have been putting yogurt tubes in the freezer and that has felt like a fun treat for him. While he’d much prefer a popsicle or ice cream, we try to limit processed sugar when possible. Other cold treats that he enjoys are frozen grapes (these are Max’s favorite, too), frozen banana slices, frozen corn (yes, eaten frozen…he loves it, I can’t quite wrap my mind around it), and frozen berries.
by Annie | Feb 23, 2021 | Blog
I am incredibly fortunate to have a dear friend (soul sister is probably a more accurate description) who is navigating similar territory with her son. Our boys are kindred spirits which lends itself to the constant swapping of ideas and strategies, moral support and the occasional mom’s night out. I honestly don’t know what I would do without her.
She had a therapist suggest the H.A.L.T. model for her son. I hadn’t heard of it before, but when she described what it meant, it sounded like a great tool. What struck me was the intuitive simplicity that would allow Fletcher to really embrace it… and that he did. (So often less is more on this journey!)
H.A.L.T. (Hungry, Attention Needed, Lonely, Tired) almost takes Zones of Regulation up a notch because in addition to describing HOW they feel, children can also identify what they NEED. We use the two models (Zones of Regulation and H.A.L.T. in tandem).
Being a visual family, I made a little poster to put up in our kitchen. This always helps all of us. We introduced it, talked about what it meant, went over a few examples and then put it right to work. At the first sign of discomfort or distress, we’d bring Fletcher over to the H.A.L.T. poster and ask him to identify what he needed. By the next day he was using it independently. Sometimes he’d simply go up to the poster and point to ‘L’ if he needed a hug, or ‘H’ if he was hungry. We were pleasantly surprised with how quickly this seemed to work for him.
H.A.L.T. encourages littles to take a pause and then communicate what they need rather than succumbing to a meltdown. It’s another way to empower our children to find their voices and put words to how they’re feeling. It’s a beginning step in having them help identify a possible solution as well. (We all want our kids to be solution-oriented, right?)
Our children are all unique in their own sweet little ways. Strategies don’t come in “one size fits all” so every strategy doesn’t work for every child. But we have learned that having several tools in our toolbox is helpful – you never know what will resonate. H.A.L.T. worked for us as it was presented. Maybe it doesn’t for your child, but a tweak or two could absolutely make it more accessible.
Following are links to printable H.A.L.T. posters. Feel free to use them as is, or create your own to better suit your needs. <3
H A L T – Black and White
_H A L T – Color
by Annie | Feb 20, 2021 | Blog
Parenting is hard. Parenting a child with sensory processing challenges is so hard. Being on the receiving end of efforts to regulate is HARD. This is a journey. On more than one occasion I have been reminded that it’s a marathon, definitely not a sprint. When Fletcher was four, I would experience being hit, kicked and scratched (which I now know were functions of his sensory system being completely overloaded). And then sometimes within minutes I’d be cuddled, kissed and thanked. It’s a roller coaster. It’s hard to shift as quickly as our kids do sometimes. And quite frankly, I’ve had to dig really deeply some days just to keep it together. Other days I have completely lost it. There have been words, feelings and tears… so many tears. There have been moments of frustration and moments of explosive pride.
A lot of our conversations are around our boys’ regulation… or lack there of. But if we’re being completely honest, I, too become dysregulated. At times I feel confused, terrified, empathetic, and have mama bear moments where all I want to do is protect my boys and take away all of the hurt. This. Is. Hard.
Does this sound familiar? I SEE YOU. And I am you.
Here are some things I’ve realized over time:
- Self care, self care, self care. Now more than ever, self care isn’t just critical. It’s necessary. Let me qualify this by saying that I used to hate it when people would tell me to take care of myself like I didn’t know it was important (even though they were very well intentioned). I reacted that way because I was overwhelmed and it just felt like one more thing. I know all too well that when it feels like the train is completely falling off the rails, the last thing you’re thinking about is a warm bubble bath, a pedicure or a night out with friends. Like who has time for that? But what I’ve learned is that I can only show up for my boys in the best way possible when I take care of myself. Even if it’s as simple as eating nutritious food, drinking enough water, getting an adequate amount of sleep and moving my body a moderate amount. I always feel so much more prepared to take on what the day tosses my way.
- Communication is a life line. It’s easy to put my head down and forge ahead at a table set for one (and there have been times on this journey where I have done just that). But this doesn’t just impact me. It impacts my husband and our families as well. If ever there was a time to overly communicate about strategies, feelings, discipline, handling situations, feelings, feelings, feelings… it’s right now. In this moment and all of the succeeding moments on this journey. Because what I’ve realized is that frustration is a slippery slope. It quickly leads to isolation. And that’s not good for anyone. Not the child, not the parent, not anyone.
- I’ll talk about this in a stand alone post, but I wouldn’t have made it this far without therapy for me. I’ve learned that scheduling regular therapy appointments is a form of self care in and of itself and I’ll always be grateful to my mom for normalizing therapy for her girls. It is literally what has gotten me through some weeks.
by Annie | Feb 20, 2021 | Blog
In preparation for launching this blog I had a few people proof read for me. One was the gem that I had as a teacher in fourth and fifth grade (how lucky am I, right?). I’m knocking on 40’s door and I was sitting on the phone with Ms. J. late one evening as she gently pointed out my run-on sentences (something I’ve battled since at least fourth grade, ha!) Hearing her point out the areas that I should take a closer look at brought on this unbelievable feeling of comfort. The nostalgia of that elementary school smell, the bright linoleum floors, clean wooden desks that crisp new school supplies. Take me back!
She noticed that I used the word fierce a lot in my writing. Like A LOT.
As I was going through and changing fierce, fiercely and fiercest, I realized that there’s a reason that word kept coming up for me. This journey has taught me that the love I have for my boys is FIERCE in the best way possible. I’ve had to advocate for them in the FIERCEST ways, trusting my gut and my mama’s intuition even when I questioned if I knew enough to be a “FIERCE advocate.” And as a result of our journey, I have become FIERCELY passionate about sharing our story so that others can maybe have an easier path forward. I may have changed some words on my site, but I wouldn’t change all the ways this chapter of our lives has helped shaped me into my fiercest self.
Fierce love, fierce advocate, fiercely passionate…all from journeying in the fiercest way.
(Thanks, Ms. J.! XOXO)
by Annie | Feb 9, 2021 | Blog
Fletcher was barely four when we introduced Zones of Regulation, but his response to the structure it provided was wise beyond his years. We had been struggling with tantrums. Some were over as quickly as they started and others could be classified as colossal. They were often around transitions, but also when his body was having a hard time regulating itself or organizing around disappointment, fear, sadness or anxiety. There are other models out there that are similar to Zones and I think they all have basically the same principle… provide kids with words to put to their feelings so they can effectively communicate how they’re feeling.
This also gave my husband and me consistent language to use to help Fletcher understand how WE were feeling.
Two years later, we’re still saying “Fletcher, how does your body feel?” several times a day and he responds with “yellow because I’m excited to play with my cousin”, “blue because I’m nervous about going to school”, “red because I’m upset that I can’t watch my favorite show” or a simple “I’m GREEN!”
Zones of Regulation is empowerment. It’s providing littles with words to put to feelings and a vehicle to communicate how they’re feeling. And when their energy isn’t being used on a meltdown, there is far more space for having dialogue, coming up with effective strategies, and implementing strategies that work.
We keep a Zones of Regulation poster on our refrigerator and one that’s visible in our basement and near our bedrooms. While Fletcher doesn’t need the visual anymore to identify his feelings, he does still reference it. I think on some level, he recognizes that the Zones was really the first tool he had that aided in his independence – a pathway to evolving into our fiercely independent boy.
There are tons of free printables online, so no need to create your own. My personal favorite come from the Crafty OT. Because who doesn’t love Star Wars, Pokemon, Emojis and Inside Out!
by Annie | Feb 9, 2021 | Blog
When we were in one of our toughest “seasons” with what felt like a meltdown at every turn, I had absolutely nothing left. My tank was below empty and I had to dig really deep to get through the days. In the midst of Fletcher’s meltdowns. I found myself crying, or yelling, or reacting. It felt personal, even though on a really deep level I knew it wasn’t. To hear my three or four year old spewing angry sentiments in my direction was so hard. This parenting thing felt thankless.
Realizing the physical impact my reaction was having on my own body, I eventually learned to take a pause. Before reacting or responding I’d stop and take a deep breath – or several. Sometimes that pause even meant removing myself from the situation for a brief moment. Am I perfect? Absolutely not. Do I lose my marbles? Of course. But I try really hard to find that pause whenever possible. It does all of us a whole lot of good.
One strategy that has worked really well for us was introduced by Fletcher’s occupational therapist. It helps him decide if something is a big problem or a little problem. Typically, after I have taken a little “pause” I am able to calmly ask him “Is this a big problem? Or a little problem?’ That language is accessible to him. He usually stops, gives it a little thought and then responds. And then we can talk through strategies.
This didn’t happen overnight, it took practice. It doesn’t always work if he is completely dysregulated, but it has proven to help us quickly change directions (in a positive way) more times than not.
