Fletcher and Max

Fletcher is a wickedly smart seven-year-old. He was an early walker and an early talker and has been asking question upon question ever since. He is endlessly inquisitive and often uses his body to explore his curiosity. He is all gross motor – loves crashing, jumping, climbing, swinging, flipping, bouncing and dancing – all which provide his body with the sensory input it needs. He has always been insanely coordinated, light on his feet and incredibly sensitive when he is emotionally regulated. He can read people with an amazing adult-like intuition and often “feels” for them. He is about as social as they come and isn’t one to enjoy independent play. Fletch wasn’t a great sleeper as a baby. We’d frequently walk him in the stroller, in the front pack or drive him around in the car to get him to sleep. He needed that constant motion to help him settle in. The calm that motion provides has been a common theme for him as he’s gotten older. He was done being snuggled at about nine months and from that point he literally hit the ground running. So much to see, so much to do. He loves weighted blankets, tight squeezes and often sleeps under a compression sheet.    Fletcher experiences life through his senses and notices EVERYTHING.  Someone missing an earring, furniture rearranged or pictures repositioned on a wall, a tiny little freckle on your arm.  He has always had a keen sense of smell and hearing and keys into things that don’t even register with my husband and me.  He keeps us on our toes in that way.  Fletcher is very concerned with time and likes knowing what comes next – and then what he can expect after that.  He has this charm that makes other kids around his age gravitate towards him which is perfect because he loves nothing more than to be in the midst of his buddies.

Max, four, was the easiest baby. With his calm and sweet demeanor, he was carted all over the place and he mostly just smiled and coo’d, always happy to be held and snuggled. Born via emergency c-section because he was breech (more on this later), Max had a bit of a challenging start with a brief stay in the NICU. He crawled and walked later than average and currently uses an assistive communication device in lieu of speech, which he is working really hard to develop. He is super bright and what he may lack in audible words, he makes up for in his own creative ways of communicating his needs. There is rarely a time we don’t know exactly what he needs or wants. He has a sly sense of humor, loves to play independently and is very protective of all of his senses. He’s not as quick to engage with people he doesn’t know as his brother who will shout “hello” across the street and down the block if he sees another human. Max knows his limits and will seek out a quiet refuge when things feel too over stimulating. While he loves bubbles, climbing and being around any kind of water, he finds the most joy when he’s swinging – even in the rain.

Both of our boys struggle with sensory integration. Both are sensory-seekers (although Max is also a sensory-avoider at times), but they seek sensory input in very different ways. This means that we don’t have a one-size-fits-all approach to sensory regulation in our family. Instead, we are challenged to be agile – to pivot on a moment’s notice and to embrace the fact that what works with one of our boys on a given day may not be the most effective the next. This provides its challenges.  Like Fletcher, I, too, like to know what to expect.  I’m routine oriented and like structure so have struggled at times with the unpredictability of sensory processing disorder.  I have found, though, that the ticket to success is having loads of tools in our toolbox, learning how to be flexible, letting go of needing to have control over every situation (our kiddos like to share in some of that!) and embracing the support of therapists who show up with their own creativity and innovation when we can’t seem to find ours.