Today was tough. That happens sometimes. We had two really difficult therapy appointments with Max this morning and that kind of set the tone for the day. I left feeling completely drained. One of the most difficult parts of this journey is watching our boys struggle. (And then I went down the rabbit hole of “wondering how on Earth his first school experience is going to go in Fall…so many feelings.)
On days like this I have to remind myself that even though there are hard moments that turn into difficult days, I’m doing my best, WE are doing our best, and our boys are giving us their best. Best doesn’t always mean easy. But we can work with best.
I struggled to get to a place of gratitude and validation on my own tonight after the kids were in bed. I sat in silence while Mike put the kids to bed – I was completely zapped. I was reminded that it’s okay to cry and I cried. We processed together, I admitted how anxious I am about the start of the school year and we talked about our collective trepidation about the numerous transitions in the coming months. Deep breaths. And tomorrow is a new day.
I used to pick myself up by my bootstraps and blow right through the hard days. But over time I’ve learned that I have to give myself permission to feel how hard things can be sometimes, sit with that for a minute, complete the stress cycle* however that looks and then figure out a path forward. When I didn’t honor feeling overwhelmed, drained, upset, terrified…. It always, always manifested in some other way.
So here’s to a better tomorrow for us and for anyone else who struggled today. It will get better.
XOXO
*A note about completing the stress cycle. A dear friend of mine gifted me with the book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski. It has really resonated with me. That stress has to go somewhere and completing the cycle makes complete sense. The audio version is great, too.