We made it. WE made it. WE MADE IT! Emphasis on the WE. This year was really something and it took a literal village for us to get to the finishline. But here we are, taking a deep breath on the evening of Fletcher’s last day of kindergarten. We officially have a first grader. A first grader! I was not at all prepared to have those words come out of my mouth.
I didn’t realize how little time I had taken to process just how hard this year has been until all of a sudden, the last day was here and I found myself tearing up while I gave Fletcher’s teacher a giant hug of gratitude. We wouldn’t have made it without her.
The year got off to a rocky start, as it did for many. Our very literal boy couldn’t get on board with calling virtual learning “school.” “This is NOT school, Mom,” he would say with conviction. And on some level, he was right. It didn’t require that he get up and out of the house with his backpack and his lunch bag in tow. It didn’t offer any opportunities to be in the physical presence of his classmates and it didn’t allow him to enjoy the typical kindergarten classroom with brightly colored rugs, alphabet bulletin boards, the old school kitchen area and the smell of vinyl nap mats. And…I most certainly was NOT his teacher. We did our best to replicate ‘school’ at home, but it just wasn’t the same. So we stopped calling it school all together and referred to it as virtual learning – exclusively. That seemed to help. At least a little.
Despite what felt like an endless stream of insurmountable challenges. Fletcher grew this year. And he grew and grew and grew. Physically of course – he’s several inches taller and now requests hair gel for his short locs (oh my Mama heart!). But also emotionally and academically. He is reading sight words, finding joy in doing math, and making connections. He wouldn’t touch a writing utensil in September without a major meltdown. This morning he wrote a note to his teacher on his own. HE WROTE A NOTE.
When his school went back to in-person learning we were so torn on if we should send Fletcher. We ultimately prioritized his mental health and wellbeing, having incredible trust in his teacher and school leaders to maintain a school environment that was as safe as possible. And it turns out we made the right decision for him. I’ll never forget the first day back. Mike and I walked him to school together. I fell apart on the way home – would he do okay? Would he be safe? Would he keep his mask on? Would he be able to handle all of the sensory stimulation? Would he be able to navigate friendships and other social situations?
His teacher was managing virtual and in-person learning simultaneously (that’s complete insanity in and of itself, but we’ll save that for another day). Being the superhero that she is (and probably sensing my trepidation), she took the time to send me a note that day. “Fletcher was wonderful today,” it said. “He will be a leader and helper in our room. So glad he is in person with me!”
A leader and helper. I don’t know that I would’ve read those same words in September, but they were music to my ears in April. She’ll never know how much that note meant to me, but it was exactly what I needed in that very moment. And she was right. Fletcher had grown into his own (more than I realized). He was so happy to be back in person with his peers and it showed. Every day Mike would ask him how he helped someone that day at school. And everyday he was able to list off something positive he had done for someone else. He was SO proud of himself. That pride carried over to us.
I don’t ever want to do another year like this again, but I am incredibly grateful for what it taught us and to have had more time with my babies (even though many days were really hard). While I’m not sad to bid this very challenging school year farewell, I will carry a few things with me:
- Children are resilient – more than we often give them credit for.
- What doesn’t completely break us strengthens us. We were tested in ways we never could have imagined and are stronger on the last day of the school year than we were on the first.
- There is value in having the gift of time. Even when it’s hard.
- Time for caregivers to recharge (in any situation) isn’t just important, it’s vital.
- It’s important to be able to look back on a period of time and recognize how far you’ve come. Progress over perfection every single time. Progress is so powerful.
- Many of our systems were broken before the pandemic and they remain that way. We have a lot of work to do to ensure everyone has access to the resources they need. All of our babies deserve to feel safe, loved, cared for. No matter their situation.
We’re happy to be swinging into summer as we send love to all who, like us, are ready to relax, recharge and regroup…however that looks.
And a shoutout to our village. You know who you are. We are so grateful for all the ways you supported our family this past year.
XOXO